PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 8/26/11

Fun photo of me and Heather...

Nick ran over for this photo right before he started his match..

Aidan and Andrew sitting on those hot bleachers. When Nick was playing, Aidan had his fingers crossed and said, "I'm crossing them for good luck...I'm going to cross them until Nick wins"

Cute Emma with her missing teeth...

Nick and his team played in the Air Academy Invitational tournament this weekend in Colorado Springs. Heather, Aidan, Emma and Andrew came to see him play in his first match and it was very special to have them come. I know it meant a lot to Nick and, me too. As a kid, it's nice to know that you've got family support in all you do. The match went into a tie breaker and the rain came so they had to finish that match the next morning, but Uncle Todd went over to the courts as soon as he could hoping to catch Nick playing. It didn't work out, but he did talk to him when Nick was at the hotel. It was nice to spend the evening at Todd and Heather's and hang out with my little brother. Their house is very comfortable to stay in and I even crashed out on their couch before Todd got back. We went out to get something to eat, took Shiner on a walk and watched tv. Just a nice relaxing, fun day all the way around. BTW...Nick and Trevor DID finish their tiebreaker on Saturday morning and WON! I think Aidan crossing his fingers the day before made the difference.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD

This is my very favorite photo of my parents on their wedding day...it was as they were leaving and it was raining. So happy!

45 Years ago on August 20 at HIGH NOON, two of the best people in the world were married at Rockland Community Church overlooking the Continental Divide. Many years later, their oldest daughter was also married there...on July 18, 1992 at HIGH NOON. I love being able to look back at these photos and see them with the people they loved celebrating this special day. The church, to this day, looks similar and I can just imagine how they were on that late summer day in 1966.

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 8/20/11

Shari and I were at Hallmark on Friday and were looking at the Christmas ornaments. We found this "blast from the past" Fisher Price house that is exactly the same as the ones we had in childhood...down to the wooden people and little doorbell. I can remember spending many hours pretending and playing and I loved how the garage would open and the doorbell would ring. The Fisher Price toys of today are not classics like this. Even as we got older, I remember opening the shower curtain that covered the shelves in our basement bathroom and seeing it sitting there. Just writing about this takes me back to 27th Place and happy childhood memories. I can even smell the musty smell of the basement and feel the carpet under my feet.What I wouldn't give to have just a few hours to be able to go back in time and enjoy the childhood and innocence of playing with my Fisher Price house...most likely, with Tami by my side and Todd coming down to see what we were up to with his blankey and stuffed animal.

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 8/19/11

A couple times this year, I have driven up to home during the day and saw Nick's car parked in the driveway as he came home between classes. He has 2 periods off this year and a the afternoon off of classes on Wednesdays so it is extraordinarily cool to have him home at more random times and just "drop in." I took this photo the other day because I didn't want to forget this. It still is a little crazy to see him drive up into the driveway but it always makes me smile and appreciate that he is here. The bittersweet part (which I've been feeling a lot of them as his senior year starts) is that this is definitely something to notice and appreciate because next year, it won't be the same. UGH...I said it...I try very hard to just live in the moment and treasure the time with all 3 of the boys, but the impending "college is coming" gets to me sometimes. For now, I will look forward to him walking in the door in the middle of the day, asking "what do we have to eat" and "hi, mom" usually followed with a quick hug. You're growing up, Nick, and that is really great, but don't ever forget that you always have a home to come home to and just "drop in".

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 8/7/11

I took this photo of the rainbow spread across the sky on Friday afternoon...it was August 5 and exactly 23 years since I said goodbye to my Grandad Dell in those early morning hours at AMC Hospice. I posted the photo of Grandad Dell on my FB and it just captured the man he was to me...fun, happy, a great smile and sense of humor in his favorite place...Ruidoso. That afternoon, I sat in the backyard and a butterfly flew by and around me...I just know it was a sign that he was saying that he was nearby and always would be...then, the boys called me outside a while later and there was a giant rainbow spread across the sky. In fact, it was a double rainbow and the colors, although fading, were bright and beautiful...another sign that Grandad Dell is watching over us and still part of me. Boy, I sure would like to be able to give him a real hug and see his smile and hear his laughter. I still miss him so much.

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 7/29/11

This is imprinted on a stone at Hudson Gardens. I remember the first time I saw this was when I took the boys there in the fall of 2003 and it just hit me...this was a excerpt from the "poem" that Grandad Dell had a copy of with a note saying "I believe this." It is where he knew he would be when he died...and I remember stopping by the cemetary in Longmont when I was at CSU and I would sit near his grave stone and tell him that I knew that he knew all that was going on for me, but I just wanted to be close to him although I knew he was everywhere and not just there. Guess what...this poem says is exactly what I believe, too.

This is the poem in full:

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am the thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there. I did not die.

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 7/8/11

SO MUCH TO POST AND MORE PICS TO ADD SO THIS IS THE START...DON'T FORGET TO ADD!

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 6/30/11

THIRTY TWO YEARS AGO... wow! It does not seem that long ago. I could replay this 11th birthday in my mind like it was "yesterday". Breakfast on the front deck, being in Ruidoso spending my special day, making Caesar salad on the lower patio and then having steak and green beans and of course, this cake that was decorated for me and the photo taken on the back deck prior to dinner. That was a good day...as so many of my birthdays have been. They have been filled with family, friends and celebrations that I hold deep within my heart and remember almost every single birthday in quite a lot of detail. So so thankful for the love of family and having the life I have had...for 43 YEARS! 43 YEARS OLD...I can hardly even believe that.

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 6/30/11

32 YEARS AGO...since this photo was taken on the back deck in Ruidoso. I remember this day vividly

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 6/29/11

Celebrating moms and my birthdays this morning with Grammama and Harvey over at their new "home". So nice that Tami could join us also. For my entire life, Grammama has been there for every birthday and celebration so I'm glad we could continue that this year also. For years, we would go shopping at Loehmann's for my birthday present and then I would come back to their house to share it with Grandad Dell. For our birthdays, we would usually have dinner in their backyard to celebrate me and my mom...fun, special, treasured memories.

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 6/26/11

In honor of my Birthday Week, I chose this photo for the POTD. I can truly remember this day at WAshington Park celebrating my moms and my birthdays. I have other photos of this day also and I know that my grandparents, great grandparents, aunt, cousins, siblings and parents were all there. I'm quite sure we had a picnic under the tree and I think this might be the year I told my mom I wanted an applesauce cake. Somehow, she found a way to make one and I recall sitting at the cement picnic bench getting ready to blow out my candles. I loved this red gingham dress also and I just have to wonder what was in that present I am opening. I am quite sure I loved the wrapping paper with the bright, fun flowers.

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 6/17/11

This was taken at Cherry Hills during Grammama and Grandad Dell's 40th Anniversary party. The skirt outfit I am wearing was purchased on a shopping trip along with Tami with Gmama and GDDell on a day in November. They wanted us to have special new outfits to wear to their party. The dress that Grammama is wearing is now hanging in my closet as we clean out her house. This is not a "perfect" photo...very washed out and fuzzy, however, to me, it tells a huge story. It shows both Grammama and I smiling and really listening to this person talking, it captures a moment in time that I may have not remembered and to me, the lighting, shadows, blur and smiles on our face really make it actually...well...perfect. These are sometimes the very best photos in the world.

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 6/15/11

In honor of Father's Day weekend this Sunday, I added this photo to my Facebook profile and my photo of the day for today. When looking through childhood photos, there was never a doubt in my mind from the very beginning that I wasn't loved by my dad, mom and family. I'm not sure everyone has that opportunity and that is just something I am so blessed to have. This reflection photo makes me smile (just about like the smile I have in that photo). Thanks, dad, for the unconditional love, support, laughs, and even tears you have always given me...and that "you're a sweetheart." :)

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 6/13/11

"I want to walk on water"...a very simple statement from Chris during the summer of 2002. During that summer, the boys (Nick and Chris) took swimming lessons at Columbine Knolls along with the Kimmey kids. Zach did take some lessons also, however, usually was sitting at the edge of the baby pool "observing" instead :). This photo was one of the first of him jumping off the diving board. He really didn't show any fear as he walked to the edge...and then he JUMPED and for just a moment, he really did walk on water. This is an all-time favorite photo and it is proof that you can do anything you set your mind to.

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 6/2/11

First day of school at St. Luke's LIttle School. We took first day photos in the backyard at our home on English Sparrow Trail and NIck headed off to school and Chris walked him into his classroom (he was in kindergarten PM) in Ms. Bonnie's Duck Class. His new lunchbox was green with bugs on it and his shoes were Caillou shoes. Caillou became one of his favorite childhood characters. Tomorrow, we will watch him finish his last day of elementary school at Stone Mtn. Elementary. What started in 2002 has been quite a journey and I could not be more pleased for the person and student that Zach has become. Right now, I want to focus on that little "stinker" look in this photo, those bright white shoes ready to meet the world and thank God for this gift of this little boy whom I absolutely adore.

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 5/26/11

FIELD DAY 2004: This was the final field day that all three boys were in...Nick in 6th grade, Chris in 3rd grade and Zach in 1st grade. Tomorrow is Zach's final field day...and they now call it "Fun and Fitness Day" which makes it not quite as "fun" as Saddle Ranch's old days. I will be there cheering Zach on. It's one of those moments that was once a "beginning" and is now coming to an "end."

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 5/22/11

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LOVED WHEN: You go down to your grandmother's basement and find that she has saved all of your posters you have made her since you were a little girl. Memories are found within all of those and am so thankful for her caring and appreciating them so much. What a treasure to find...those are the 'THINGS' that really matter the most and knowing that you are loved.

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 5/16/11

PROJECT 365 PICTURE OF THE DAY 5/4/11

Mother's Day is quickly approaching and I enjoy being able to look back on "old photos" and see these 3 faces with me. With the recent happenings with Grammama, I have had a lot of time to think about the legacy and strength of the Carlson family.

I also have remembered my Gram very much during this time. I remember her has a very spunky, fun lady who had a little voice with the best giggle in the world. I remember calling her the evening that President Carter was elected President (she couldn't stand him). I remember when I learned the French word for flower..."fleur" and then called to tell her. I remember their phone number at Windsor Gardens 343-6868. I remember the chair that she sat in at her house that would spin and tip back. I remember her dressed up in her beautiful blue long dress for Grandad Walt and Gram's 60th Wedding Anniversary. I remember riding up to Fort Collins in the back seat with her and Grammama for a family gathering and she calling me "Foxy Lady" ("foxy" was on the shirt I was wearing). I remember the phone ringing on a Sunday September early evening and hearing that she had died. I remember no knowing what to think at that time. I remember going to school the next day and feeling like my teacher should care more. I remember going to her funeral...the first funeral I had ever gone to...looking at her lying in her casket so still and wearing that blue dress. I remember my great grandmother "Gram".

Grandpa's 100th Birthday...today

Today, May 3, would have been Grandpa's 100th birthday. Dad wrote a tribute/ memory/journal entry today and then sent it to us. It was such a well written and special text to read and I appreciate seeing my dads feelings reflect memories of his dad. While Grandpa and I didn't have a close relationship, I do know that he loved us, he was a good dad and was an important person in the direction of my dads life...and that, in itself is cause for pause and memory reflection. This particular photo is an alltime favorite and I love that he was just sitting his his little boy in the sunshine at the farm with their dog alongside. So...Grandpa...I love you, and miss you and remember many things...and I smile when I do that.